–Satyakam ray

December 18, 2022- Lusail Stadium, Qatar- packed stands full of people, and billions of fans were glued on TV to the World Cup football final match between Argentina and France. “Messi” and “Vamos Argentina” were the most chanted and heard words worldwide then. Finally, the fortune favored the deserving person, and the little boy from Rosario lifted the glory in his hands. The whole world bowed to the newly crowned GOAT.

But this short article will focus on the what-ifs of the World Cup final match and take the readers on a whimsical hypothetical journey to satiate the negative aspects of life. It’s light-hearted dark humor, and readers are requested to grasp it just for fantasy’s sake.

What if the Argentinian goalkeeper Martinez hadn’t saved the 120-minute Kolo Muani’s shot, and what would have happened then?

• Many people would have died due to heart attacks in Argentina and worldwide. The ardent football fans who worship Messi couldn’t have accepted the loss.
• There would have been a street fight between Argentina and Brazil fans in the alleys of Calcutta and Kerala over Argentina’s loss.
• There would have been a sad wave of depression worldwide as everyone was rooting for one guy except maybe France. The therapists and psychiatrists would have a party then for higher client growth!
• Ardent Ronaldo fans would have celebrated Diwali for Messi’s failure and declared Ronaldo the GOAT. Demoting to Al-Nassr also hasn’t affected the unquestioning belief of many: God save them!
• We now have a terrible boy legend, “dibu-Martinez,” who has the guts to showcase his unique celebration style to the world, a gift only boys use when alone. Thanks to him, many memes surfaced, and Mbappe’s joke also prevailed. Always listen to your inner instincts – Martinez taught us that.
• Mbappe would have been crowned the best by novice football watchers. He’s still terrific and has a pace of cheetah. But he needs to learn more as a footballer and a little bit of humility. That’s why destiny denied him this time.
• Destiny persisted in giving creative writers and content creators a chance to glorify Messi’s brilliance. Had Argentina lost, these people would have missed a browny point. But “all-is-well” as it ended in a fairy tale for everybody.
• The loss would have been a terrible turn-off for people who follow football once every four years, as all the hearts were rooting for Messi. The belief is that a hero would have been killed. Many young footballers will remember this match their entire lives. It was more than el-clasico. It was something else! It is just a lifetime opportunity to witness the best!
• For Argentina, people who are neck-deep in debt due to the country’s financial position would have lost hope altogether. This cup and Messi made them pause to rethink their lives in a positive mindset.
• The Turkish butcher Salt-bae would still be famous for his steaks and “salty” antics. Now he’s disgusted worldwide as he tried those cheap tricks on the World Cup trophy! And he tried to have a selfie with Messi- the new GOAT.
• The GOAT debate would have continued for a long if Messi had failed. Now, the discussion is closed.

Thanks to the Almighty, he saved us from so many heartbreaks and blessed Messi. The only problem the author sees as a predicament to the happy ending is what if Maradona were alive when Messi kissed that trophy! It would have been sublime, the best surreal feeling for a fan! Nevertheless, we got to see the best thrilling match of our lives and experience something that would accompany us to the graveyard. One last time- Vamos Argentina!